My baby nephew died yesterday.
He spent his whole life here on earth in a hospital.
His parents got to hold him only once in the first several weeks of his life.
He lived for 2 months and 19 days.
We have hope, that in heaven we’ll get the chance to properly get to know each other. But we have to wait until then. I don’t really get to know you who you are in this life, Theo.
But, in the short time that I did know you, I loved you deeply and you taught me quite a bit about pain–about dignity and faith and hope in the face of horrifying circumstances. You reminded me how to pray and refocused me on what matters. Sometimes, it can be easy to forget. I can’t ever thank you enough for teaching me those things.
I will miss you every day, until I see you again, warrior baby.
Today I wear my weariness like a cloak, heavy across my back. I am worn down. I might not even be able to tell you all of the reasons why, and honestly, by themselves, most of them are small. But you know how the small things, heaped high on one another add up to big things. We all do.
So I am taking a moment and a deep breath. And I’m drinking in these words of my Jesus that remind me that I don’t have to carry these things around, heavy on my back, for a second. I hope they’ll be a refreshing reminder for you too.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30 MSG)
I’m so grateful for what this day symbolizes. It’s crazy to think about what must have been going through the minds of the followers of Jesus on the Friday that he died. I don’t think I can imagine a bigger disappointment. The man they believed to be their savior and redeemer was dead. Was everything he preached a lie? Did he just pull a huge prank on the whole group of them, like some twisted joke?
Then, three days passed. Instead of grieving, there was rejoicing. Instead of disappointment and mourning, there was shock and awe, that Jesus was alive!
Three days makes all the difference.