the doubt

I’m not really sure whether I will regret publishing this on the Internet forevermore, amen, but here goes.

Sometimes I am really freaked out that we’re going to have a baby.  Let’s get one thing straight: I love this yet-to-be-named, growing-inside-of-me fetus immensely already.  That has nothing to do with how I’m feeling.

I just don’t feel ready.  I don’t know if this will work.  How can we juggle everything we’re already doing and add a baby to the mix?  What if I’m a terrible mom and my child ends up stunted because of something I say or do?  I know it sounds kind of ridiculous, but I guess I just know so many people who have a lot of deep issues related to how they were raised and the relationships they had with their parents.  I don’t know the first thing about babies.



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